Tuesday, August 10, 2004
This was intentionally made as a joke, so PLEASE don’t get too serious about it… It is meant to bring some reading pleasure, and most importantly, laughter… =p
Reasons why English teachers die young…
1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides compressed by a Thigh Master.
2. She had a deep throaty laugh, like the sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
3. He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.
4. The boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t.
5. He fell twelve storeys, hitting the pavement like a hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.
6. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.
7. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.
8. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.
9. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.
10. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.
11. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage trucking backing up.
12. She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.
13. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.
14. It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall.
15. Her eyes were like two gold fish swimming around.
6:06 PM
